sculpted-face teddies
I really ought to come up with some other name for these guys. "Sculpted-face Teddies" just sounds awkward and uncomfortable, but I don't know how else to describe them. I guess I could describe them as "Sculptural Teddies," but that just sounds pretentious. Also, I kind of consider all of the Teddies to be "sculptural," so ... Fuck! That sounds even more pretentious! Never mind. Let's just stick with the awkward designation and leave it at that.
These are Teddies whose faces ... Are sculpted. All sculpture and painting (and gluing, and shuddering at the results) is done by me. I don't make these often, and they are a labor of love when they do appear. Love, and no small measure of terror. These are some of the creepiest fucking Teddies I have ever produced.
All of these pieces have been sold, and in many cases, it was before I really got my act together as far as photography was concerned. At any rate, these are the only photos I have of them, and in many cases, I don't think they quite do them justice ... But, here they are.
These are Teddies whose faces ... Are sculpted. All sculpture and painting (and gluing, and shuddering at the results) is done by me. I don't make these often, and they are a labor of love when they do appear. Love, and no small measure of terror. These are some of the creepiest fucking Teddies I have ever produced.
All of these pieces have been sold, and in many cases, it was before I really got my act together as far as photography was concerned. At any rate, these are the only photos I have of them, and in many cases, I don't think they quite do them justice ... But, here they are.
bateman
He's just frustrated because he can never get a reservation at Dorsia's. Hey, Paul -- !
clarence
Yup ... I maintain that, even eleven years after his creation, Clarence is still the creepiest damn Teddy I have ever made.
Clarence has gone to a new home, thank goodness. Unfortunately, I believe this is the only picture I have of this legendarily disturbing Teddy.
Clarence has gone to a new home, thank goodness. Unfortunately, I believe this is the only picture I have of this legendarily disturbing Teddy.
dolan the rather nutty rabbit
You ever have one of those days? I think we all have those days sometimes.
Dolan has been having one of those days since 1976.
Dolan is resting comfortably in a new home.
Dolan has been having one of those days since 1976.
Dolan is resting comfortably in a new home.
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eddie teddy
My gosh, how could I have almost forgotten Eddie? This guy was a card. A real joker.
Sadly, I heard a report that after leaving the Ugly Teddy house, Eddie turned to a life of organized crime. He probably started with hit man, but I think he's worked his way up to Boss status by now. Ahh, well. We do what we can, and if that isn't enough, what can we do?
Eddie is making hits and whackin' guys in a new home.
Sadly, I heard a report that after leaving the Ugly Teddy house, Eddie turned to a life of organized crime. He probably started with hit man, but I think he's worked his way up to Boss status by now. Ahh, well. We do what we can, and if that isn't enough, what can we do?
Eddie is making hits and whackin' guys in a new home.
magister hare
His expression may be rather dour, but his attitude is ... Rather dour. Magister Hare suffers from the crippling defect of having been born without a sense of humor. Sadly, this serious condition affects more and more people these days. It's starting to take on epidemic proportions of late.
Magister Hare is bossing people around in a new home. |
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rufus and skeezix
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... I think that these are literally the ugliest Ugly Teddies I have ever made. They're so ugly that for a long time, I was embarrassed to even show them off. I think it was the noses ... Something about the noses.
The other problem I had with these guys is that they were always trying to get the other Teddies involved in these weird schemes. Penny stocks, direct marketing, treasury bonds -- you know, those weird investment strategies that are doomed to fail.
Not a single solitary clue what happened to these guys. They probably jacked up a cruise ship and sailed to the Bahamas, or possibly Turks and Caicos. Seems like the kinda thing they'd do.
The other problem I had with these guys is that they were always trying to get the other Teddies involved in these weird schemes. Penny stocks, direct marketing, treasury bonds -- you know, those weird investment strategies that are doomed to fail.
Not a single solitary clue what happened to these guys. They probably jacked up a cruise ship and sailed to the Bahamas, or possibly Turks and Caicos. Seems like the kinda thing they'd do.
